Plant Sim - Series 1 - Episode 06 - A Spanner in the Joints

Meanwhile, back in the flower cottage-thing, Darwin and I had woken up. I groggily went into the bathroom and had a shower underneath some…flower thing. I mean, come on! Whoever heard of a flower shower?! Hehe…flower shower.

Sorry, off-topic. I’d gotten changed and was going to wander back to the giant mushroom for shade when I found Darwin outside looking a little lost. And worried.

This was the first time I’d seen him look worried so something must have been up, so I asked him what was up.

Rhiannon: Hey Darwin. What’s eating you?
Darwin: Hello Rhiannon. Did you sleep alright?
Rhiannon: I did. Did you?
Darwin: I did also.
Rhiannon: Sounded like it.
Darwin: What was that?
Rhiannon: Oh, nothing. What’s the worried face for?
Darwin: Oh, well. Have you seen Keith anywhere?
Rhiannon: Can’t say I have. Wasn’t he there last night?
Darwin: That’s the thing. I can’t find him anywhere.

Rhiannon: You’re kidding me, right? Ooh, if he’s gone after that Amber…
Darwin: You think it’s possible?
Rhiannon: Possible? I think it’s given! Lemme go ask Barbie and Sindy over there whether they’ve seen him.
Darwin: Barbie and Sindy? I thought their names were Ruby and Sapphire…oh well.

I marched over to the girls who were too pretty for their own good. I remember my anger seething, but I resisted the urge to start hitting people with a crowbar.

Ruby: Oh hey, you’re that vampire chick, right?
Rhiannon: Correct, but I am not fluffy and yellow, therefore I am not a chick.
Sapphire: Whatever, vampy. What’s biting your neck? (laugh)
Rhiannon: I wanted to know if you’ve seen Keith anywhere.
Ruby: That overgrown cabbage of yours? Nope.
Sapphire: I thought you’d locked him up to the wall the way you were acting with him.

Ruby: Ooh, naughty…anyway, that’s interesting you saying he’s missing because Amber’s missing too.
Sapphire: Yeah, haven’t seen her since last night.
Rhiannon: You’re kidding me right? No way…he wouldn’t be that stupid, would he? Huh…maybe he would.

I couldn’t believe it; it sounded as if Keith had ignored my warning and gone straight after that bimbo. I wasn’t one to bear grudges but he was really trying my patience. At that moment I knew exactly why he got himself turned into a plant - and I wanted him to stay that way too.

Just then I heard a voice calling out my name, which snapped me out of my silent fuming. I looked up and Keith was near the tallest building, right next to the steps. I shoved past the giggling nymphs and glared up at him.

Rhiannon: Hey! Where the hell have you been?!
Keith: Shh! You’ll scare the clouds away.
Rhiannon: What…?
Keith: If you shout too loud, the clouds run away from fright.
Rhiannon: Hey! I want a word with you!
Keith: (sigh) If you insist.

Keith: Uh oh, you look mad…
Rhiannon: Uh oh is right. Where have you been? Darwin and I were looking all over for you!
Keith: Oh, well, last night I couldn’t sleep so I went outside for a bit to think about what you said and then Amber-
Rhiannon: I knew it!
Keith: Hey, let me finish! It’s not what you think!

Rhiannon: I know exactly what it was. You didn’t listen to me and so you trusted that Amber girl and got yourself into trouble, right?
Keith: Y-yeah! That’s right! I-I thought she liked me-
Rhiannon: -But she showed her true colours and started sucking up your energy, right?
Keith: Ah…yeah. But I’ve learnt my lesson, I swear! I’ll listen more carefully to you now…

He looked so desperate and remorseful that it reminded me of a puppy dog. Scratch that, a big green leafy puppy dog. Hnn, doesn’t seem so cute when you think about it.
I couldn’t stay mad at him when he looked truly sorry…

Rhiannon: Alright I forgive you. But next time I warn you about something-
Keith: I know, I know. I’ll listen to you, because you know more about the world than I…ever could.
Rhiannon: Well, at least you’ve learnt something today.

We met up again with Darwin and then Flora made us some breakfast which was ham sandwiches...yum. I sat there wondering. I was a vampire, and yet I hadn’t felt the need for blood as much nowadays. When I was younger and was first infected, I had to bite someone every day or I’d go mad. Goes to show what six years does to you.

Then I met Starla for the first time. I was surprised to see that she was a teenage girl, around 17. I learnt that she was almost a perfected witch, and that since she’d been studying since the age of 4, I guess I could see why she was as powerful as they say.

We said goodbye to the Pixies, and laughed at the fact that the Nymphs were nowhere near us today. Starla and Keith explained everything that had happened the other night - Keith was about to get all his energy sucked out when Starla found them and threw a spell at Amber, scaring her off. I was a little relieved to know that he had been in good hands for the rest of the night.

And so Starla joined our party and we made our way into the core of Callah, where the palace stood proud and majestic. We stopped off in a small thicket in the evening and put up our tents.

I was surprised as I had no idea that we had tents. Then I wondered where they’d put the tents in the first place since we had no bags. I decided after a while not to think about it as it gave me sickening thoughts and just accepted that it was “magic”.

The sun started going down, and we sat round a campfire trying not to burn our fingers as we roasted marshmallows. We all laughed when Keith singed his fingers then he realised he had to use a stick. He can be so clueless sometimes.

Starla: Hey, I didn’t realise how close we were.
Rhiannon: Close to what?
Starla: The palace. See that hill over there? It’s just over it.
Rhiannon: Whoah, you’re right! We’ve been walking for hours.
Starla: I’m used to it. I’ve been walking around everywhere with my mother since I was a kid.
Rhiannon: It’s a bit unusual, a witch being born from a pixie…
Starla: (laugh) I thought you’d ask. My dad was a warlock, so technically I’m part witch, part pixie. Doesn’t really make me any different though. Like I can’t shoot laser beams from my eyes or suddenly sprout wings from my back or shoot flames from my…I’ll stop.
Rhiannon: Please do. And I seriously doubt…we’d need any of those…

Keith: What are you two babbling about?
Starla: Nothing.
Rhiannon: Yeah, go back to singing your leaves.
Keith: I’m not, am I?
Rhiannon: I was joking, stupid.
Keith: (sigh) Tomorrow I’ll see Alynna again…

Rhiannon: What, is that all you can think about? Seeing your little girlfriend again?
Keith: Well…yeah, honestly. I mean, it’s been a year since I first…and last saw her, you know? I’m kind of nervous.
Rhiannon: Don’t be, silly. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you as much as you are to her.

Everyone kept quiet after that. Keith looked reassured, but he was still anxious. I guess I could empathise with him, not seeing someone in so long. He probably had a lot of questions going round his head, like “Why did you take so long?” or “Why didn’t you come see me?” or “Did you sic your insane witch cousin on me? That wasn’t very nice”.

We all sat there, thinking our own thoughts. I myself was thinking about home. I was wondering what I should do after this. It shocked me a bit to know that the journey was already over. I don’t know, as much as I got annoyed by the cabbage and the others, I kinda grew attached to them. I resolved that after I get a new sanctuary, I’d probably go back to sleep for the next few decades. Going back to the dreamless sleep, with nothingness surrounding my entire body.


After a while, we retired to our tents and woke up the following morning. The sky was perfectly clear, without a single cloud, which made me think with a wry grin about the morning before, and Keith saying how shouting scares the clouds away. Surely he knew that no clouds in the sky is a good thing? Well, I guess not for me…I mean, with the whole “I’M MELTING” thing.

After a good trek upwards, with me cowering behind everyone’s backs to get their shadows, we reached the palace of Callah. Keith was a little disappointed, as he’d heard some random bull about the trees being made of candy or something weird like that, so I had a good laugh at him.

Keith: So this is it?
Starla: Yup.
Keith: The palace of Callah?
Starla: Yup.
Keith: Where Alynna will be?
Starla: Yup.
Keith: …Wanna go first?
Starla: …Nope.
Rhiannon: Well someone go first!!!

Keith: Hello, ma’am.
Servant: Erm, hello. And you might be?
Keith: Forgive me, ma’am. My name’s Keith McDowling, and I’m here to see the Princess Alynna. I think she’s expecting me!
Rhiannon: Way to pump your ego.
Servant: I don’t think their Majesties are expecting anyone today…
Keith: Sooo can I go in and see her?

Darwin: Erm…ignore him. My name is Darwin and this is Starla.
Servant: Oh, Darwin from Rorane and Starla from the Land of the Pixies?
Darwin: We are indeed. We wish for an audience with the King and Queen…and he wants to see the Princess.
Servant: I shall go and inquire at once, just a moment.

The servant took us up through polished hallways and squeaky clean corridors (I think I stepped on a mouse, poor thing) and led us up to the chamber in which the King and Queen sat. Their expressions were indifferent, but their eyes were glazed over for some reason…

Keith: Erm…hello, your Majesties.
Starla: Don’t be nervous, Keith…
Keith: I wanted to see you because of my condition. And…I met your daughter a year ago when she came to visit my village, and I was working on the farm - my name’s Keith McDowling by the way. But, I fell in love with her and then I got changed into a big plant so…I wondered if I could see her?
Rhiannon: (whisper) Did that make sense to any of you?
Starla: Not really.

The Queen stood up, her shoulders shaking a little as she walked over to Keith. Suddenly her face contorted as her voice came out in a small screech.

Queen: You think you can just see her? A big green man comes into my chambers and asks to see my daughter just like that?! Well it can’t be done.
Keith: Huh? But your Majesty, you have to-
Queen: You can’t see her because she’s not here!
Keith: …Not here? Well, I don’t mind waiting for her…
Queen: She’s been stolen away! Taken hostage! Kidnapped!

Darwin: Kidnapped?!
Starla: Oh no!
Rhiannon: I knew it.
Darwin: By whom?
Queen: Who do you think?! By the witch Luna of course!
Starla: Not Luna...
Queen: Yes, by Luna!

And she broke into sobs, to which her husband came and comforted her, tears in his eyes also.

I had never seen Keith more furious before. It almost scared me, almost though. He seemed to be filled with hate and rage and I knew from experience with myself that it wasn’t going to be easy to calm him down. He was on the warpath and would not stop until his objective was done.

He shoved past us and the servant and ran back down the corridors until he’d reached outside. We all chased after him calling out for him to stop and think about what he was doing. I stayed back a little, as I knew it was hopeless to stop him.

Starla: Keith! Please! Stop for a minute so we can talk about it!
Keith: Who needs to talk?! All I know is that Alynna’s in trouble and I’ve got to find Luna and get my revenge on her before something bad happens!
Voice: Well, well.

Luna: You’ve found me…and something very bad is about to happen…