Crystal Town Series 2 - Episode 20 - Ho Ho, The Witch is Dead

Sharon Grey always wanted to be famous. She would always dance her heart out as a young child.

She would glare at herself in the mirror as a young woman.

But Sharon Grey moved on from this silly dream... and became...

Sharon: Hey lard ass let me in.

A bitch...

Guard: Sorry?
Sharon: Let me in the house I need to speak to Henry Henderson.
Guard: I'm sorry Miss but his son Malcolm has given us strict rules that no one is allowed to visit unless however Henry himself...
(Phone rings)
Guard: One moment please.

Henry: That woman out there? Who is she?
Guard: Do not hassle yourself sir, I'm going to get rid of her now.
Henry: No! Ask what her name is.
Guard: Sharon Grey sir.
Henry: Let her in...
Guard: Sir your son has given strict orders you should be in bed!
Henry: Let the lady in... now!
Guard: Ok sir, I shall.

Guard: You're free to go in.
Sharon: Ah, thank you dear, you are a lovely young man.

But Sharon Grey diden't see the harm... in acting now and again.

Kayleigh: Bills... bills... and oh wait... bill and another bill...
Chris: What's up Kay?
Kayleigh: Have you seen how many bills we get? There's the TV bill, the gas bill, council bill... electric bill...
Chris: Don't worry... (laughs) me and mum both have jobs... we can afford this. And Malcolm is like a millionaire.
Kayleigh: I feel pathetic.

Chris: So after twenty one years you've managed to sum yourself up.
Kayleigh: Oh aren't you hilarious!
Chris: Ok, what's wrong?
Kayleigh: Everyone has jobs! Except me I'm stuck here all day doing nothing! And I've tried and tried to get a job again and again but I fail every single bloody time.
Chris: Ever thought about being an assistant?
Kayleigh: Not really... why?
Chris: You could work for me.

Kayleigh: (Laughs) Me work for you!?
Chris: What's so funny?
Kayleigh: Nothing, so I can?
Chris: Surem I don't see why not.
Kayleigh: Thanks Chris but didn't Liza work for you?
Chris: Oh yeah it didn't really work out...
Kayleigh: Why not?
Chris: Meh I don't know... just wasn't working. I'm off for a shower.

Kayleigh: You slept with her didn't you?
Chris: Yep.

Tina: Where were you last night?
Robert: Just out with a few friends.
Tina: All night!? Where the hell did you sleep!?
Robert: At a mates.
Tina: You should of called, you're going back to university tomorrow. You have exams and dozens of lectures, you shouldn't be going out and getting drunk!

Jean: Tina, sorry to interrupt but we've ran low on milk. Should I run to the store and get some?
Tina: No that's ok Jean, I'm going later on...
Robert: Excuse me lady but me and my mother were in a private conversation.
Tina: Robert!
Jean: I'm sorry. I'll go to store for the milk anyway. I'll, erm... be back in half an hour.
Robert: Don't rush back love.

Tina: How dare you!? How dare you, you evil little boy!
Robert: Aggh!
Robert: You slapped me!
Tina: Yes I did, you've been so mean to that poor woman for days now. It's time for you to grow up!

Robert: You really are dating her, aren't you?
Tina: What? Robert you are pathetic!
Robert: It's obvious you've chosen your girlfriend over your son!
Tina: Robert this is plain and utter crap! Jean is not my girlfriend I am not a lesbian!
Robert: I think I'm going back to university early...
Tina: Good, you can go to hell for all I care. Now go on, get out!

Aaron: Auntie Tina... are you alright?
Tina: Yes dear, I'm fine.
Aaron: What's he done now?
Tina: Nothing, don't worry dear. I'm going up for a rest.
Aaron: Alright.

Aaron: Robert!
Robert: What?
Aaron: You need to start treating your mum with more respect!
Robert: What's it got to do with you!? You're not family! You should of moved out after your stupid mother died!
Aaron: You prick!
Robert: Let's face it, she was a slut!
Aaron: How dare you talk about my mother like that!
Robert: Sorry mate, but it's the truth.

Aaron: Take that!
Robert: Get off me!

David: Boys stop! Boys! Enough! What's the matter with you two!?
Aaron: Him! Lately he's been nothing but a twat!

David: I want you out!
Robert: What?
David: Me and your mother will buy you a place at University, in the meantime you have until tomorrow to collect your things and move them to your university halls. Everyone has had it up to here with you boy! Even me...
Robert: You can't kick me out!
David: Yes I can. Me and your mother were discussing it and I've decided to. Now get out of my sight!

Sharon: Henry, oh my goodness you look terrible!
Henry: (Laughs) Hello Sharon it's been a while... years infact.
Sharon: I knew I recognized your son... he looked exactly like you did!
Henry: I'm nothing like him! He's a horrible man.
Sharon: Seriously? He's always so nice and polite...
Henry: Don't let it fool you, he's the reason I'm here.
Sharon: What do you mean?

Henry: He's poisoning me!
Sharon: What!? And you're letting him!
Henry: I'm dying anyway, might as well be quicker than planned.
Sharon: Henry... you can't let him do this. Why would he kill you?
Henry: I'm a sodding millionaire Shaz, he wants what I'm gonna leave him.
Sharon: I'll call the police...
Henry: No! No!
Sharon: Why on earth not? You can't let him get away with this!

Henry: Yes I can, he's a terrible man Sharon. He will kill you if he knew you had anything to do with this.
Sharon: What?
Henry: Go now. And don't tell anyone what I've told you.
Sharon: Henry I can't just...
Henry: Go before he comes here! He's visiting today! Now go please! If he catches you here he'll kill you in cold blood without a second thought! As an old friend fulfill my dying wish, go! Now! Please!
Sharon: Henry, are you sure?
Henry: Yes I'm sure my friend, I hope we meet again. Go... I don't want him harming you aswell.
Sharon: Ok.

Little did Henry or Sharon know...

They were too little too late.

Ryan: Look I'm not going to tell you again Megan, my grandmas recipe can not be beaten so quit trying. Mother tried for years but she has never beaten Grandmas chicken and mushroom pie.
Megan: I'll have you know I'm a great cook.
Ryan: Oh please, I'm the twice the cook you'll ever be.
Megan: Fine! Tonight we will both make a meal and your mother can decide who's is best.
Ryan: Bring it on!

Louise: Kacey!
Kacey: Yeah?
Louise: Some fat guy just delivered a Christmas tree...
Kacey: Oh crap. Eddie's not in.
Louise: So?
Kacey: I can't carry that in!
Louise: Hey don't look at me, I'm an old woman.
Kacey: Don't worry, I have just the suckers for the job.

Kacey: Hey guys.
Stevie: Hey Miss Wellington!
Seth: I'm just taking off...
Kacey: Actually I need your help with something, both of you.
Seth: Right, what is it?
Kacey: Well...

A While Later...

Kacey: Thank you boys, we've done a great job don't you think?
Seth: "We've"? You decorated it, me and the kid had to drag it in!
Stevie: Oh god I'm knackered!
Kacey: Well, come on guys, Seth you really should be getting back to delivering stuff and Stevie the bar needs cleaning... ah... what a lovely tree.

Stevie: I better get a raise for doing that!
Seth: Don't bet on it son.

Chris: You gave me no choice!
Kayleigh: You didn't give me a chance!?
Hilary: Hey, what's going on here?
Kayleigh: Chris fired me... on my first day!
Hilary: What?
Chris: I have strict guidelines for those who are working for me.
Kayleigh: You made me sharpen your pencils and take out the green sweets from your jar! I expected to take phone calls and handle your messages.
Hilary: Guys enough...
Malcolm: Can't you give her another chance Chris?
Chris: No! She had her chance. I'm sorry but in this case I have to treat Kayleigh like she is any ordinary employee and not re-hire her just because she's my sister.

Hilary: So... what would everyone like for dinner?
Chris: Pizza.
Malcolm: Lobster.
Kayleigh: Pasta.
Hilary: How about fish and chips?

Ryan: Mum you're home!
Sharon: Yeah... what's going on?
Megan: Me and Ryan are having a cook off.
Sharon: A what?
Ryan: You've never watched one of them cooking shows?
Sharon: Honey the only thing I watch is Knots Landing and you've been framed.. I love it when people fall over!
Ryan: Anyway, me and Megan are both going to make a certain meal.
Megan: And you have to decide who's is best.
Sharon: What? Me?
Megan: Yeah and for fairness... you won't know who cooked what meal.
Sharon: So... I can't stay here?
Megan: No go upstairs and we'll come get you when they're both done.
Sharon: Well that's my afternoon wasted...
Ryan: Go on mum, quick we want to get started.

Ryan: So, that didn't go as planned then? (Laughs).
Megan: It was a.. err.. practice.
Ryan: Oh yeah?
Megan: Yeah! I'm more than ready for you Ryan Grey!

Kacey: Keria!
Keria: Hey Kacey, this is my boyfriend Dominic.
Dominic: Hey, nice to meet you.
Kacey: Hey Dominic. What are you doing here? Are you taking Craig away?
Keria: No, we just came to wish him a Merry Christmas.
Kacey: Oh that's nice of you...
Keria: Do you just plan to keep us standing here in the cold?
Kacey: Oh I'm sorry, come in!

Keria: This place has certainly changed...
Kacey: Alot yeah.
Dominic: I swear I've been in here before.
Keria: You're such a forgettable oaf! I met you here!
Dominic: Oh yeah.
Kacey: You met him here?

Keria: Yeah, while I was dating Tim. He kind of found out we had an affair, so he dumped me.
Kacey: You cheated on him!?
Keria: Oh stop being so stuck up, he's gone!
Kacey: That's my brother you're talking about!
Keria: Where is Craig?
Kacey: What the hell is your problem?
Dominic: Ladies please!
Keria: You've always been jealous of me!
Kacey: What!?

Keria: Ever since we were young, you've always been threatened by my appearance. You're nothing but a cheap whore!
Kacey: (Laughs) How ridiculous! You're nothing I mean take this stupid hat. It looks cheap why don't I just take it if I'm so cheap eh?

Kacey: Oh my god!
Keria: Congratulations Kacey. My head's cold...
Kacey: Wait Keria!

Kacey: Why didn't you tell me you actually did have cancer?
Keria: I don't want anyone's pity! Alright!?
Kacey: Keria, I'm so sorry.
Keria: Yeah, I bet you're thrilled. Well don't get your hopes up, I'm not gonna die from this. I will survive it.
Kacey: I wouldn't want you to die...
Keria: Oh please. You'd be happy to see me suffer! Well you should be happy to know that me and Dominic are homeless, for the past few days we've been living in the car because we were evicted after Dominic got fired. So we're going to be spending Christmas at the hospital or in the car. Great eh?

Kacey: Why don't you spend Christmas with us?
Keria: What?
Kacey: Stay here for Christmas.
Keria: I couldn't do that...
Kacey: I insist. Please...
Keria: Why are you being so nice to me?
Kacey: Because you're still my friend. We were best mates as teenagers and I know for sure that we're not just gonna end up hating each other. I could never hate you. And I still have that friendship bracelet you brought me.
Keria: (Giggles) Yeah I still have mine too.

Kacey: Come on, let's go inside. The spare room will be ok for you two then?
Keria: Thank you so much Kacey!
Kacey: Don't mention it!

Megan: Ok there we go!
Ryan: Damn I left my phone at Eddie's. I'm going to go and get it. Go and get Mum and get her to try some of this, ok? I'll be back in a few minutes.
Megan: Alright...

Megan: Sharon! Sharon! You can come down now!

Megan: Here we go.
Sharon: Ah it all smells so good.
Megan: (Laughs) Ok have some of this...
Sharon: Oh wow, this is lovely.
Megan: Yeah?
Sharon: Yeah I love the... (coughs).

Megan: Are you alright Sharon? Are you choking?
Sharon: I...can't...breathe!
Megan: Oh my god! I'll call an ambulance!

Megan: I need an ambulance number three Crystal Town... please hurry my mother in law can't breathe!
Sharon: ....tell Ryan I love him...
Megan: Don't be silly Sharon, you're not going to die!
Sharon: Tell him for me...
Megan: Just relax, the ambulance is on it's way.
Sharon: I love you Megan.
Megan: Ok just try and breathe... slowly and steadily.
Sharon: You're like the daughter I never... had....

Megan: Sharon wake up... Sharon this isn't funny... wake up now the jokes over!

Megan: (Sobs) Sharon!