Pleasant Life Series 1 - Episode 3 - Becoming a Sister

Welcome to Episode 3 of The Pleasant Life! The last time we left Angela and Lilith they had just finished doing one of their jobs...at an art museum.

Rita: Now, you two are going to be responsible for a huge presentation today, We have another group of two coming in later, the two groups must come up with an exquisite painting for us to display in our art gallery. Now this is very important because the Mayor of Bluewater Village is coming for a visit tomorrow and he will expect something respectable.

Angela: (on phone) Hey, can i speak to Mark Foster please?
Mark Foster: This is Mark Foster.
Angela: Me and my sister need your help. We're trying to paint a picture and it's going nowhere. Would you be able to come to our Museum and help us out?

Angela: We figured that us coming here would be such an amazing moment for you guys, so we decided to honour ourselves and here we are.

Lilith: Hello?
Rita: Hello Lilith, it's Rita from the Museum.
Lilith: Hey!
Rita: Well I've got some great news. Your painting won the competition!

After managing to get their hands on some "well earned" cash, the girls decide to let their hair down a little...by hitting the clubs.

The Ku Lu Club

Lilith: This place is so cool, why didn't we ever come here before?
Angela: Because really we wouldn't be seen dead around this place...
Lilith: Oh yeah...

Angela: Hey, can we get some Vodka shots over here please?
Barwoman: What?
Angela: Vodka shots!
Barwoman: Oh no, they're banned in Bluewater Village.
Angela: Are you serious?
Barwoman: Deadly.

Angela: I don't believe this...

Angela: They don't have Vodka shots in this town.
Lilith: You're joking right?
Angela: Who doesn't have Vodka shots?

Well the alcohol seems to be something the girls can find fault with, but it doesn't stop them hitting the dance floor...

Lilith: Hey boys, so which one of you has got the biggest c@$k
Boy 1: Erm...
Boy 2: We don't know...

Lilith: The guys don't even know when you're flirting with them...and one of them looked like he was from the army...
Angela: It's so bad around here...i think maybe we should just go...
Lilith: The only good thing is the music...
Angela: I know...

Next Morning

Well the girls have already performed one job but now it's time to start another...at St. Mary's Church.

Sister Mary Simons: Hello, i'm Sister Mary Simons and i'm the head nun at St. Mary's Church.

Sister Mary Simons: This is a peaceful convent, we expect the girls to have elegance and grace in here; it is a house of God after all.

Apartment

Angela: Hey!
Sister Mary Simons: Hello, may i speak to Angela or Lilith please?
Angela: This is Angela!
Sister Mary Simons: Why hello, i am Sister Mary Simons, head nun at St. Mary's Church. You will be coming to work for me today.
Angela: (Laughs) Who is this? Really?
Sister Mary Simons: Sister Mary Simons, if you need the directions to the church i can give you them.
Angela: Wait, you're serious aren't you?
Sister Mary Simons: Serious about what? Are you going to be able to make it to the church today?

Lilith: Who is it?
Angela: Bluewater Village's answer to Sister Act!

Angela: We'll be there!

St. Mary's Church

Angela: I hope it's something easy.
Lilith: I hope we just have to pray all day..
Angela: That'd be so cool.

Angela: Hey, I'm Angela.
Lilith: And i'm Lilith.
Sister Mary Simons: Welcome to St. Mary's. Would you like to come through to my office?

Sister Mary Simons: Well it's excellent to see you girls, we here at St Mary's hope you bring all the comfort we need to the church; we also hope to bring you some comfort as well.
Lilith: That's a lovely offer but...
Angela: We're hot, thanks.
Sister Mary Simons: There's room for improvement in all of us.
Angela: You'll be lucky if you'll find it in us.
Sister Mary Simons: Anyway, what you will be doing today is seeing how we live. We have devoted our lives to God and we believe that we have been blessed by the Holy Spirit. Today you will become nuns, perform various activities and chores that we have to do so very often and you'll be singing in the choir.
Angela: Sounds hot!
Lilith: Singing? We can't sing!

Sister Mary Simons: We have the voice of an angel in all of us; if you dig deep you'll find it. Anyway, first thing we're going to do is get you into some suitable clothes.

Changing Room

Sister Mary Simons: You both look very presentable.

Angela: I look like a penguin.

Lilith: I look like a lesbian.

Sister Mary Simons: Another thing, we want no bad language in here, no cursing, no dirty talk and no sexual references.
Lilith: What do you mean by sexual references exactly?
Sister Mary Simons: Well...erm...
Lilith: So we can't say cu&$?
Sister Mary Simons: Absolutely not!
Angela: Fu@£?
Sister Mary Simons: No!
Lilith: We can't talk about sex either?
Sister Mary Simons: No!
Angela: This is hard...
Lilith: I know...

Outside

Sister Mary Simons: The first thing we're going to do is head down to the chapel to say a prayer, then we'll go to breakfast.
Lilith: Great! I'm starving.
Angela: What do we eat here?
Sister Mary Simons: Well, we tend to eat a small piece of toast for super, then for dinner we have soup...
Angela: Are you serious?
Lilith: A piece of toast?
Sister Mary Simons: Yes indeed..
Angela: Can't you just give us $10 and we'll head down to the store and get something good...

Sister Mary Simons: We don't have money here...
Angela: I'm never becoming a nun...
Lilith: Me either.

Chapel

Sister Mary Simons: Just take a seat and...
Lilith: Can't we say a prayer?
Sister Mary Simons: You'd like to do the reading?
Lilith: Totally.
Sister Mary Simons: Okay, go up to the stand and address your fellow sisters.

Lilith: Erm...hey! I'm Lilith Pleasant, my sister Angela is sat down there with you guys...

Angela: Hey!

Lilith: I'm going to read you a...paragraph from the bible...with my own little bits added on...

Lilith: Here goes; "The spirit of the lord is within me, it is he who has invented good looks, hair extensions and fake tan."

Angela: (giggles)

Lilith: "Please lord, bless the prostitutes of this world, for they know not what they do. Please also bless Lady Gaga, for her nose job couldn't be more obvious..."

Lilith: "Last but not least, please let Sister Mary Simons see sense and stop feeding these poor nuns toast in the morning...please open her heart to see the light, McDonalds and Burger King are just down the road...Thank you...amen."
Nuns: Amen.

The Dining Hall

Sister Mary Simons: Okay, you shall all be presented with food from God...

Lilith: Technically it's food from the kitchen over there...and whoever made it...
Sister Mary Simons: And who provided them with the food i wonder?
Angela: Farmers?
Sister Mary Simons: Girls, my patience is wearing thin...please just wait for my blessing to eat.

Sister Mary Simons: "Thank you lord for this wonderful food you have provided us with, we know as we begin to eat you shall bless us and continue your glory work around the world. Thank you lord, amen"
Nuns: Amen!

Sister Mary Simons: You may begin eating.

Angela: This is like the lamest piece of toast i have ever had.

Lilith: Can someone pass the butter?

Sister Mary Simons: Silence please! We do not speak when eating, for our prayers will be answered when we're silent.

Lilith: It's a little dry though...I'm sure God can understand..
Sister Mary Simons: Lilith! Silent!

Well after the girls' unpleasant breakfast, it's time for them to start doing their jobs...

Sister Mary Simons: So for your first task, you shall be making flowers for the church garden...

Sister Mary Simons: You get the flowers from the pot underneath; you place them together and wrap them up. Make sure that the same flowers aren't all in one place; mix them up to bring out the fruitful elegance they give...
Sister Mary Simons: I'll leave you to it, good luck.

Angela: This is so lame; i may just shove them in a vase and stick them outside...
Lilith: There's no way anyone would want to do this all the time.

Sister Mary Helena: Hello, i'm Sister Mary Helen and this is Sister Mary Bernard.
Angela: Hey!
Lilith: Hi sexy!
Sister Mary Helena: We'd just like to thank you for coming to our church and taking the time to help us out.
Lilith: Well we're a little broke at the moment.
Angela: How come you two wanted to become nuns?

Sister Mary Bernard: Well when i was a little girl i was devoted to God. I wanted to show him how much i cared about him, whilst doing good for others as well...
Sister Mary Helena: I was brought up in the church. My mother became a nun shortly after she had me. I was just brought up surrounded by nuns.
Angela: What do you guys do for fun?

Sister Mary Bernard: We play the piano.
Sister Mary Helena: The choir is fun as well; it's us singing to god...

Lilith: Have you ever seen Sister Act?
Sister Mary Bernard: Yes i have...
Lilith: Whoopi Goldberg is a sexy mother f@C$&r
Sister Mary Helena: (gasps)
Angela: (laughs)

As the girls are struggling making flowers...the sisters decide to give them a hand.

Sister Mary Helena: It's so simple once you get used to it.
Lilith: You're so good at it.
Angela: Maybe you should just do them all.
Sister Mary Helena: I don't think so. Come on girls...

1 Hour later...

Angela: We've done now.
Sister Mary Simons: They look fantastic. Well done girls!
Lilith: Thanks.

Sister Mary Simons: Another thing we do here is wash our own dishes, as you two ate toast at breakfast you must wash up. I'm sure you know how to wash up?
Angela: Of course...

Angela: Okay...
Lilith: Where is the soap?
Angela: You don't use soap, there's washing up liquid here...
Lilith: Oh!

Once the girls have washed up, it's time for their final chore of the day...

Sister Mary Simons: What i would like you to do now is make some toys. We're donating some hand-made toys to a charity, so they can help the children who have so little. Have you ever made toys before?
Angela: No.
Lilith: I've broken toys before...does that count?

Angela: What kind of toy are you making?
Lilith: I'm just putting all the bits and pieces together...if it makes something when i'm done, it'll be extra cool. What about you?
Angela: I may just put some make-up on a brick.
Lilith: Hmmm, good idea.

35 Minutes later...

Angela: These are our toys!

Sister Mary Simons: Thank you for your contribution girls, i'm very pleased with them.
Angela: So are we.
Lilith: We should be in the toy industry for sure.
Sister Mary Simons: Well...yes.

Office

Sister Mary Simons: Well girls i have been surprisingly impressed with your performance today, you did very well, despite the fact that you've used foul language, asked your fellow sisters to do your work, been blasphemous and wash up with soap, you have done well.
Angela: I'd give us an A for our work...
Lilith: Or an A+, whichever suits you.
Sister Mary Simons: Our reverend will be paying you for your hard work soon, before you head out i would still like you to sing in the choir...
Angela: Oh yeah!
Lilith: We'd love to.

Choir Performance

Head Choir Leader: Now girls, give it your best!

Nuns: #Our father who art in heaven, Hallow'd be Thy name. Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread...

Lilith: Or a bit more would do...

Nuns: #...and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, For Thine is the kingdom, and the power and glory, forever. Amen#

Angela and Lilith: Woohoo! Nuns are hot!

Nun: Oh dear...

Both: Bye Nuns!
Angela: It's been amazing!

So the girls have finished their second job and are not $200 richer. Tune in next time on The Pleasant Life as the girls begin work at their favourite fast food restaurant;

McDonalds...