Pleasant Life Series 1 - Episode 5 - Fighting Crime and Going Home

Welcome to the final episode of The Pleasant Life. So far we've seen the girls become McDonald's workers, Nuns and Artists. But today, the girls will face their biggest, hardest job yet...they're going to take on the world of crime...

Chief Comando: Well, our job is to keep these criminals under lock and key. What i expect from these girls is for them to give their absolute best in what they're doing. The need to be responsible and determined to achieve the best...

Lilith: (puts lip gloss on) I'm loving this cherry lip gloss, where's it from?
Angela: Don't know, but it's awesome...

Chief Comando: Girls, are you ready or not?
Angela: Coming sexy...

Chief Comando: So, let me say welcome to the Bluewater Prison, we hope that you can gain some real experience from working here and we hope that you'll enjoy doing your job as much as we do. Anyway, you're both going to be checking that the visitors are searched fully, we have family members visiting some of the inmates later today, and you two will be in charge of that. You'll need to get into to your uniforms first though. They're in the other room. You two can go and get changed through there.

Lilith: Where's my gun?
Chief Commando: We don't have guns...
Lilith: Why?
Chief Commando: Because we're not fighting crime on the streets, we're just locking the criminals up.
Lilith: So i can't shoot anyone?
Chief Commando: Why would you want to do that?
Lilith: Don't know, sounds like fun.
Chief Commando: Well no, you can't shoot anyone, and you don't get a gun.

Chief Commando: Okay this is Officer Miles; she will get you started with the visitors search.
Angela: Do we strip them down?
Officer Miles: Don't be silly, they're visitors.
Chief Commando: I'll leave you all to it...

Officer Miles: So, i will be at the doorway and i'll let the visitors in, you two must make sure everyone is checked before they go into the visiting room. Remember to use the scanner, it'll just tell you if there are any objects on the visitor, any at all.
Lilith: Do you have a gun?
Officer Miles: No, why?
Lilith: This is rubbish; we should be entitled to a gun each. What if there is a hostage situation?
Officer Miles: Well we don't have many of them here; our staff are very good at their job.
Angela: Do you have any Fenner's here?

Officer Miles: Fenner's?
Angela: Jim Fenner? Bad Girls?
Officer Miles: What's that?
Lilith: It's a TV series set in a women's prison. They all had guns, it was all under control in that prison.
Angela: Except of course, the bottle in a officers gut, 7 escaped prisoners, a dead body in the toilet and a lesbian relationship between and officer and an inmate.
Officer Miles: Well it's a TV show, nothing like that really happens.
Lilith: So i'm not getting a gun?
Officer Miles: I don't think so.

Lilith: This scanner looks like a gun.
Angela: I know! (Laughs)
Lilith: This is my gun!
Angela: You're obsessed with guns!
Lilith: I'm a prison officer; i should get a rifle for this job.
Officer Miles: The visitors are coming in now.
Lilith: I'm searching the hot guys.
Angela: With a gun? (Laughs)
Lilith: "Strip, or die!"
Angela: (laughs)
Lilith: This is so cool.

Lilith: Hey sexy, do you have any sharp objects on you?
Visitor 1: No.
Lilith: Are you sure?
Visitor 1: Of course i'm sure.
Lilith: This gun is loaded you know, i'm not afraid to use it.
Visitor 1: (laughs) Okay...

Lilith: (scans) No he's good...

Angela: Okay what's your name?
Visitor 1: Manfred Williams.
Angela: (gasps) Is that your real name?
Manfred: Yes.
Angela: Okay, who are you visiting?
Manfred: My wife, Agnes Williams.
Angela: Is she a sexy b***h?
Manfred: I guess so...
Angela: Why is she in prison?
Manfred: Shop lifting.
Angela: Couldn't they just give her a fine?
Manfred: She accidentally killed someone doing it...
Angela: (gasps) Oh...

Lilith: I'd take those glasses off...
Visitor 2: Why?
Lilith: Because they may have drugs in them.
Visitor 2: How am i going to get drugs in a pair of glasses?
Lilith: I don't know! Life is full of questions; i want to know why i haven't got a gun yet, but life is like that sometimes. Take the glasses off!

Angela: I think you should marry her.
Visitor 3: Oh no, i'm only 18.
Angela: Marry her!
Visitor 3: Why?
Angela: Because if she is in here for 10 years then she may be all wrinkly when she gets out.
Visitor 3: She's only 18 too!
Angela: 18 going on 80, especially in here...

Officer Miles: Okay girls, you've done this half of your job. Now, Chief Commando wants me to take you both to the office, you'll need to answer the telephone because we've got some special delivery's coming in.
Angela: Prisoners?
Officer Miles: No, food supplies for the inmates.
Both: Oh...

Lilith: I'm bored, no one has phoned yet.
Angela: I'm sure she put us in here so we keep quiet.

Lilith: What does this button do?

Lilith: (on loud speaker) Hello? 911?

Angela: Oh my god, it's a loud speaker to the prisoners.
Lilith: (on speaker) "Day 1 in the Prison...

Lilith: (on speaker) "...all the prisoners are in bed. Angela and Lilith are in the office talking down the speaker..."

Angela: (laughs)
Lilith: (laughs) How many cells are there?
Angela: About a 100.

Lilith: (on speaker) Ahem...the person is cell number 4 will be released tomorrow...

Angela: Let me have a go...
Angela: (on speaker) Are there any prostitutes in here? If so, we prayed for you, and the nuns are blessing your souls. Don't worry; you can still go the heaven.

Chief Commando: Girls!! What are you doing?
Angela: Waiting for a phone call, what are you doing?
Chief Commando: Come away from that speaker!
Lilith: Oh it's a speaker...i thought it was the phone. Sorry, our mistake.
Angela: Ah, it's a loud speaker, right...

Chief Commando: Okay girls, well let me say that it's been a pleasure having you here with us today, we hope you've learned a lot about prisons; now, onto your evaluation. So you were given two jobs, one was to organise the visitors, how do you think you did?
Angela: Excellent.
Lilith: Would've been better with a proper gun, but it was good.
Chief Commando: Well, we had some complaints. You made a man give up his watch right?
Lilith: Well he refused to take it off, there could've been anything inside of it?
Chief Commando: What did you expect to be inside it? I understand you taking precautions, but taking a watch AND throwing it in the bin isn't acceptable.
Lilith: I have a six sense on these things; there may have been a bomb in it.
Chief Commando: The point is, it is now acceptable. We now owe him money for the watch, but it'll be deducted from your wage. Other than that, i give you a B- for that job.
Angela: Woohoo!

Chief Commando: Next job was to take in an order from our food supplier. How do you think that went?
Angela: Well no one told us which was the phone, so we thought the speaker was the phone...
Lilith: It's Officer Miles' fault really...
Chief Commando: You didn't get a mark for that, because you didn't answer the phone. It rang and no one answered.
Lilith: Ah, well you see, you pulled us away too soon. If we'd stayed we would've answered it, so it was your fault really.
Chief Commando: It was your job, you didn't do it. You won't be getting paid for that one. You'll get £45; £5 will be taken to pay for the watch.
Angela: £5?! God, why is that guy making such a big deal about it? He can easily go and buy another for £5.
Chief Commando: Here's your money, and you can now go.

Now that the girls have finished their final job, it's time for them to return to the apartment and pack their belongings.

Angela: I'm going to miss Bluewater Village. It's been quite nice here.
Lilith: Me too, i still think they need more clubs though...
Angela: And more hot guys...
Lilith: Yes, and that too.

Angela: What do we do with the keys now?
Lilith: Erm...just leave them in the door.
Angela: Yeah, the landlord will find them no problem.

Both: Bye, bye little apartment!

Now the girls are on their way home to Pleasantview, things can only be looking up...can it?

Angela: Who was your favourite boss?
Lilith: I think maybe Rita, the art woman.
Angela: I think that was the easiest job we had.
Lilith: Yeah, i think so too.
Angela: I really liked the nuns though.
Lilith: I think it's awesome that they dedicate their life to Jesus, it's so nice.
Angela: Yeah, it's like they focus on their religion and nothing else.
Lilith: They still need a good McDonalds down them though...this "toast in the morning" rubbish is awful.

(Car stops)
Angela: What the hell happened?
Lilith: I don't know you're the driver!
Angela: I'll go and check it out.

Angela: Oh no, i think the clutch broke....
Lilith: How can the clutch break if you were driving the car?
Angela: Look, it's snapped off!
Lilith: Great! So we're stuck in the middle of...where are we?
Angela: Erm...i don't know.

Angela: I have an idea...do you have your cell on you?
Lilith: Yeah...
Angela: Pass it here!

Angela: (on phone) Hey, can you come and pick us up, we have a situation.

Lilith: Here we go...
Angela: Thank god, we can get out of here now.
Lilith: What about the car?
Angela: We'll let the production team take it...either that or we'll let anyone have it.
Lilith: (laughs)

Angela: Look, there's Rita's Art Museum.

Both: Bye, bye Bluewater Village...

So as the girls Journey has finally come to an end, have they both learned anything?

Angela: Out of this experience, i learned to respect that other people are good at what they're good at, to really appreciate why some people work their absolute bests to achieve something in life. I also learned to appreciate my family and my belongings more, because some people aren't as fortunate as me.

Lilith: I learned to respect other people when it comes to their career, they always know what they're talking about. I also learned that money and clothes aren't the be all and end all when it comes to life.
Angela: We're not gonna stop buying clothes though..
Lilith: Well they know that...
Angela: I hope so...
Angela: Anyway, thanks for watching the show people, i hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed ourselves.
Lilith: Yes, thanks so much and we really appreciate it.
Angela: We did it! We went and faced out biggest challenge yet!
Lilith: Now ask yourself this question...

Both: "Could you live The Pleasant Life?"

Well done girls...