Sim Date Series 3 - Episode 1

Mr Love: Hi, and welcome to this brand new series of Sim Date! I'm Mr Love and welcome to my brand new series! This series episodes will be alternating between the classic studio episodes and the interactive episodes where viewers pair up contestants. Today, is a studio episode, but a few things have changed since series one...

Mr Love: The contestants now sit together in the same room, rather than those small claustrophobic boxes. I also go and meet them before the date enters the studio. So here's tonight's three desperate ladies let's meet them starting with this hippie girl..

Carmen: Hi, my names Carmen and I'm an environmental scientist. I believe in all things strange, I'm a vegetarian and I'm an animal rights activist. I'm 27 years old and am looking for someone who will share my beliefs and care for me and the environment.
Mr Love:
You don't ask for much do you? (!)
Carmen:
(Laughs).

Karen: Hi, I'm Karen and I'm 28 years old. I'm a waitress. I'm here tonight in the hope of finding the right man for me. I was hoping to be on the other side though, choosing a man for myself, but hopefully the man of my dreams will just happen to be here tonight!
Mr Love:
Tell me, do you always use a paintbrush to put your makeup on?
Karen:
No. Why?
Mr Love:
Cause your face is covered in the stuff!

Diane: I'm Diane and I'm here tonight, like Karen, to find the right guy for me. I'm 26 and have little experience in the love department.
Mr Love:
Your kidding right?
Diane:
What? No.
Mr Love:
But you look stunning!
Diane:
The thing is... I used to be a man.
Mr Love:
Oh.
Diane:
Yeah, that's what everyone says when I tell them. I've never been able to lie about it to anyone, so most men are put off.
Mr Love:
When did you become a woman?
Diane:
Two years ago.
Mr Love:
I see, well good luck!

Mr Love: Well there's tonight's contestants. Anyway, some poor poor bloke has now got to choose one of those dreadful women... half men... or whatever you want to call them. Let's meet... Henry!

Henry: Hi.
Mr Love:
Jesus, look at that moustache... no wonder you've been single for so long!
Henry:
Do you think that's why?
Mr Love:
Well, then there's the hair, the suit... oh well, tonight's women aren't much better. Take a seat!

Mr Love: Henry, tell us a bit about yourself. How old are you?
Henry:
36.
Mr Love:
How many women have you been with?
Henry:
About 3.
Mr Love:
Did you go... all the way, with any of them?
Henry:
No.
Mr Love:
So your a virgin?
Henry:
Yes.
Mr Love:
My god... well don't worry, you've come to the right place! You know the age and names of each contestant, but that's pretty much it. What are your opinions based on that?
Henry:
There all a bit young for me, but they'll probably be more fun.
Mr Love:
It's time to ask them some questions, so lets see what they are...

Mr Love: The way things work are that you can only ask each question once, but you must ask each contestant one question.
Henry:
There not very helpful, are they?
Mr Love:
No, I'm afraid that's the way this game works, but don't worry, there's a new feature to series 3 I haven't yet told you about. So, which question would you like to ask contestant one, Diane?
Henry: I'll go for one, what was your favourite school subject and why?

Diane: I didn't really like school very much, I used to get bullied quite a lot for being gay... but I enjoyed the showers after gym!
Henry:
What, is she a lesbian or something?
Mr Love:
Erm...
Diane:
I used to be a man! Sorry, I wanted to write it on my bio but they said I could only put my name, age and job.
Henry:
Oh.
Diane:
That's what everyone says...
Mr Love:
Ahem... moving on Henry, what do you want to ask contestant two?
Henry:
I'll go for question three: Your favourite animal from the Savannah.

Karen: What's the Savannah? Is it that desert?
Mr Love:
That's the Sahara.
Karen:
Oh yeah.
Mr Love:
The savannah is in Africa, you know, giraffes, rhinos, elephants, lions...
Karen:
Oh right, I know what you mean now! I love those cute little gazelle thingy's.
Henry:
That is so helpful (!). Thanks!
Mr Love:
Contestant three now get's question two: What is your favourite meat and why?

Carmen: I don't eat meat, I'm a vegetarian and don't believe in cruelty to animals.
Henry:
Oh great (!).
Carmen:
Sorry I can't be more helpful.

Mr Love: Well, that's the end of that. Now, a new feature to series 3 is that you get to say cheerio to any of the three contestants now. Then you'll be able to invent your own questions which you can ask the remaining two contestants.
Henry:
Oh good, I thought that's all I would have to go on. Contestant one has to go.
Mr Love:
I thought you might say that, let's meet him... her!

Henry: Wow, you look fantastic. Sorry.
Diane:
It's ok, your not really my type anyway. I hate moustaches!
Henry:
Oh.
Mr Love:
I think you let your secret slip a bit too early, you could of at least of waited until the date!
Diane:
No, he had a right to know.
Mr Love:
Well, you'll now be going into the date's database, where you may be voted for by the public to go on a date with someone else. Goodbye for now!

Mr Love: Have you thought of a question for each of the remaining contestants, Henry?
Henry:
Yes, I'd like to ask contestant three how long she has been a vegetarian, and contestant two what other jobs she's had in the past.
Mr Love:
Ok, they sound fine to me and within the rules, so let's get their answers...

Karen: In the past I've worked as a barmaid and shop assistant.
Carmen:
I've been a vegetarian since I was 14 and haven't eaten any meat since then.
Mr Love:
Thank you ladies, Henry, it's time for your decision.
Henry:
I'd like to choose Carmen.
Mr Love:
Let's say goodbye to Karen then!

Karen: Ah! Moustache! No!
Henry:
Fine! I wasn't going to tell you but I didn't choose you because I guessed you were a dumb blonde.
Karen:
At least I haven't got a stupid moustache!
Mr Love:
Break it up! Let's meet Carmen!

Henry: Wow, your beautiful.
Carmen:
You look charming.
Mr Love:
... Ahem! I hate to break you two up when your staring lovingly into each other's eyes, but it's time for you to go on a date!
Carmen:
Where are we going?
Mr Love:
Tonight your going into our special dating room, for a fantastic meal!
Carmen:
Is there a vegetarian option?
Mr Love:
Yes.

Carmen: Oh look, more red and pink!
Henry:
That turkey looks lovely... oh yeah, sorry.
Carmen:
It's ok, you can eat it if you want.
Henry:
No, no, I'll have salad with you.
Carmen:
That's really nice of you.

Henry: I became a vegetarian when I was about 13, but only lasted a few days. I just found it so difficult to get enough energy from salads.
Carmen: It was difficult for me at first, but there's more you can have than you might first think... it's just sometimes more expensive than eating meat.
Henry:
Yes, there's a lot more nowadays than there was in the past.
Carmen:
Have you ever been out with anyone as young as me before?
Henry:
I've not been out with anyone at all for a long time... how about you, have you been out with anyone my age?
Carmen:
Yes, I met him at a strike about animal testing... unfortunately he got sent to prison. He was 60.
Henry:
Really!? So age doesn't bother you then?
Carmen:
No, the persons more important.
Henry:
Absolutely.

Mr Love: The date has lasted for 15 minutes and they are both on their second helpings of salad. If they talk about animal rights any more I'm going to fall asleep out of boredom!
Henry:
Well I do agree that animal testing is wrong, but then, I sometimes feel that they have a valid argument when they say there bred for that purpose, otherwise they wouldn't even be in the world.
Carmen:
Well, I won't fall out with you for saying that, because I saw there side of the argument too at first, but if you'd seen some of the things I have you'd understand why I'm totally against it now.
Henry:
I could change.
Carmen:
Yes, you could.

Mr Love: 30 minutes later and Carmen is still telling Henry about all her hippy... type... stuff. I've got a suspicion she's not interested in him and just want's to persuade him to become a fellow hippy.
Carmen:
Sorry, I've been talking about myself and what I do for ages! Please, tell me a bit about yourself.
Henry:
Well, I'm a doctor.
Carmen:
You are!?
Henry:
Yes.
Carmen:
But that means, you use medicines that have been tested on animals...
Henry:
Well, I guess so, but it saves people's lives.
Carmen:
I can't believe it! You on their side.
Henry:
No I'm not, I'm on neither.
Carmen:
You use medicine right?
Henry:
Yes, but, I can't just let people die you know.
Carmen:
Loads of animals died to make the medicine you give people!
Henry:
It's just my job.
Carmen:
Date's over.
Henry:
No, please Carmen. You can't expect me to change my beliefs on the first date.
Carmen:
Sorry, I just can't be near someone like you!

Mr Love: Welcome back to the studio. Well, that went badly. Why did you tell Carmen you were a doctor.
Henry:
Well I never thought about the whole animal testing thing, and if I did I wouldn't of lied.
Mr Love:
So you two aren't going to work out?
Carmen:
No way!
Mr Love:
In that case, you two will be going into the dates database, where the public may pair you up with another love hopeful. Next week we have the first interactive episode and there are currently 10 people in the database looking for love. Go there now and pair up potential partners and tune in next Tuesday when the pair with the most votes will go on a date to the location of their choice! Goodnight.